Tell me where I messed up. I want to know, what went wrong?
It's my mind isn't it, damn independent thoughts. Nothing a butcher's knife can't cure. Let's carve my brain out and let it land with a satisfying plop on the floor beside me. Then I will be docile, then I will do just what I'm told. But these lips, they must also be punished for whispered defiance. scratch them off my face, peel them away so my teeth are left bare and accountable for their chatterings. Leave only my body for that alone has not yet offended.
I will be your brainless, lip-less servant. I will fetch and carry and sit and stand and kneel for you. I will nod mutely when you tell me I'm worthless and stare blankly at the wall when you strike out in frustration.
I am your diversion.
When things go wrong, it's because of me.
I shouldn't have been thinking in the first place.
Saturday, February 20, 2010
Sunday, February 7, 2010
Star light, star bright.
Alone, tonight, I see the stars.
Sometimes I talk to them, imagining they whisper back to me through the trees. They know all my secretes, those bright points. In the lonely night I tell them how I love and how I hate- all of my sins are laid bare to this supreme confessor.
There are days when I slip away to play in the fallen temples of my own personal what ifs. I run through the city and dance on shiny black stages and in the end I collapse in a fit of uncontrollable laughter. Most of all on these nights I am not alone. My star friends take on faces and we giggle together and I am no longer alone.
Then something wakes me up. Someone calls and they talk about the Real World and I am dragged back, kicking and screaming and cursing.
Tomorrow I'll close my eyes again and the stars will come out and I won't be alone.
Sometimes I talk to them, imagining they whisper back to me through the trees. They know all my secretes, those bright points. In the lonely night I tell them how I love and how I hate- all of my sins are laid bare to this supreme confessor.
There are days when I slip away to play in the fallen temples of my own personal what ifs. I run through the city and dance on shiny black stages and in the end I collapse in a fit of uncontrollable laughter. Most of all on these nights I am not alone. My star friends take on faces and we giggle together and I am no longer alone.
Then something wakes me up. Someone calls and they talk about the Real World and I am dragged back, kicking and screaming and cursing.
Tomorrow I'll close my eyes again and the stars will come out and I won't be alone.
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